


Xander: The Vampire Slayer?

by Memories_of_the_Shadows



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Hellsing
Genre: Crack, Gen, Halloween, Halloween Costumes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-25
Updated: 2009-06-25
Packaged: 2019-03-13 10:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13568295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Memories_of_the_Shadows/pseuds/Memories_of_the_Shadows
Summary: This is just pure crack, written while half asleep. Read at your own risk.





	Xander: The Vampire Slayer?

Willow nearly runs into Xander, who was coming out of the costume store rather quickly. "Oh, hi! What did you get?"

"Just these," he holds up two plastic handguns. "I've been reading this really cool comic, and I wanted to do the main character. He's a vampire hunter too ya know! It'll be awesome! I got to get home though; the coat is coming in the mail today. See ya later, Willow!"

She blinks a small smile on her face. "Okay, bye."

\/\'/\/'\/\'/\/

_Halloween Night_

\/\'/\/'\/\'/\/

Chaos erupted as many of the costumed trick-or-treaters turned into their costumes; including Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg, and Xander Harris.

This was bad for multiple reasons.

For one, it meant that Buffy—the protector of Sunnydale's relatively normal citizens—was now a noble woman not fit to walk up a flight of stairs by herself let alone stake a vampire. Another reason was that some of the resident vampires had realized this. And last, but certainly not least, was that Xander Harris was now the Vampire slayer known only as Alucard.

Also known as: The No-Life King, the Vampire Prince, and the Hound of Baskervilles.

In fact Alucard was quite amused with the quaint American town and its array of food—ah, vampires. He may not have quite known how he got there, but he was sure that his master would not mind it if he dispatched of this infestation.

Speaking of which…

"Apparition, what is this place?" he asks a nearby ghost politely, assuming that she would know.

"Xander! Oh god, what happened to you!?"

A roll of his red eyes behind his sunglasses later and Alucard is again addressing the female ghost, "My name is Alucard, apparition, and I asked what this place is."

Willow floats over to him, flinching when she sees his fangs. "Well, you should probably already know this, but it's Sunnydale. Listen, Xander, we've got to find Buffy, I think something is happening to the Hellmouth."

"Thank you, apparition, but I will be taking care of your vermin infestation." Willow shivered at the psychotic grin laced with fangs.

Luckily, Giles managed to reverse the spell soon enough but no vampire would dare set foot near Sunnydale again—Hellmouth or no. After that it didn't really seem to matter if Xander liked his meat rare, or had sharper then normal teeth.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on 25 June 2009 on ff.net. I am the original author and am reposting it here. This is a product of my writing ability at the time.


End file.
